There is my routeprojekt around salzburg which I tried over and over again last year. Everytime I drove three hours one way, hiked up in the hope of dry holds, visualized the moves in certain appropriate and inappropriate situations, avoided party friends and too many beers at nights out and yet I failed. I failed over and over again. I knew all the moves, all the tricks, everything my body needed for the send, but in the end it didn't happen. The snow covered the surface of the beautyful landscape in a glittering white coat, which marked the end of the season. Time to let go. So why? Too weak? Of course, as a climber you always feel like an extra amount of newtonmeter would be fine. But I could do the crux moves, I could get there without being waisted ... Bad conditions? I repeatedly cut of my fingers on the cruxedge, but there were the good days, the sticky days, the no blood days, when everything was fine and the humidity was low and temps below zero, so... not that excuse either. Propably the projekt grew in my head to a level that was too big, too daunting, it became too important. Propably I couldn't climb without thinking, I couldn't reach the empty state of mind, which allows me to exploit my full potential. It's kind of funny. On the one hand climbing does matter. Otherwise you would have never reached this climbing level, otherwise your training would suck or would not exist and otherwise your biggest goal in climbing would be to impress the ladies, or most likely, you wouldn't climb at all. On the other hand, you have to pretend that the anchor is not important to you, that it is ok to fail, that there are a million things in life that are way more important than climbing. You have to pretend to reduce pressure. You have to pretend to set your mind free for the climb. You know you lie to yourself in a way... you know that in this critical moment in the crux, while either the thumb goes up or down, it does matter! And in this moment you want it so badly, like John McEnroe who wanted to win every game he played. Anyway I could climb other hard stuff during the last month: „in madness there is love“ 8c firstascent in an secret area around Salzburg. One of my most beautiful first ascents, with big moves on edges and slopers up a huge limestone shield. The only blemish is the finish, which is marked by a bad sloper. While my ascent I could't clip the anchor, but I had both hands on the last hold and for me it felt ok. „nobrainer“ 8b+ in the höllental in lower austria is a different finish at the busstation I bolted. While a ten-day-trip to chulilla I could repeat the routes „Welcome to chulilla“ 8b+ which took me three days and another one I (forgot the name) 8b+ which took me three tries While bouldering in Wachau/lower austria I did two first ascents: „Old dirty bastard“ (lowstart) 8A+ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMSQvPt9urY „Mandela“ 8A+ And yess!! Stoked!! Three days ago, after a period of gymtraining and skiing I could make the first repetition of the physikal and pumpy Markus „Maxl“ Eder Route „Eiserner Vorhang“ 8c+ which took me three days of work. Comeing out of the gym it`s hard for me to grade, but it felt pretty plusish, especially because of the lack of a descent restingposition. Hungry for more, cheers berni [caption id="attachment_8049" align="alignleft" width="635" caption="Bernhard Fiedler in Eiserner Vorhang 8c+ foto andrea maruna"][/caption] [caption id="attachment_8047" align="alignleft" width="682" caption="Bernhard Fiedler in "old dirty bastard" 8A+ firstascent"][/caption] [caption id="attachment_8045" align="alignleft" width="922" caption="bernhard fiedler most wanted route project"][/caption]   [caption id="attachment_8046" align="alignleft" width="893" caption="foto thomas forte"][/caption]